[Blog Buddies] "Becoming Leaderly" by Elizabeth Fei

I’m thrilled to be a part of the team helping to steward the development of the innovative and co-created EPIP-MN and YNPN Twin Cities Leadership Institute! Our kick-off retreat took place in mid-April and was filled with great people, ideas, and energy. See below for a blog post recap from Leadership Institute participant, Elizabeth Fei!

Becoming Leaderly

Elizabeth Fei is a participant in the new Leadership Institute put on by YNPN-TC and EPIP-MN, which launched in April 2014.
On night one of the inaugural EPIP-YNPN Leadership Institute kick-off retreat, we experienced a World Café discussion, where I offered to play table host (mostly so that I wouldn’t have to switch tables). After hearing the amazing thoughts of my fellow cohort members, I was so humbled and weighed-down with the immense responsibility of capturing, then harvesting their oh-so-insightful nuggets. When it came time to share, I turned to my tablemates, silently asking their permission.
I was met with nods back:
“Go ahead.”
Even now, I feel this immense responsibility to “say it right” and fully capture the gratifying two-day experience. As I’ve learned through my work at the Minnesota Humanities Center: words matter. However, I’m going to imagine all of my new friends nodding at me and try to do justice to all of our experiences.
Also, for the record, I know leaderly isn’t a word. Sue me.
I’ll admit, on my way from work to the first evening of the Leadership Institute retreat, I was nervous. I’ve never been one for traditional networking events. Smiling at each other in stuffy suits, handing out business cards, regurgitating your perfectly-crafted (yet somehow never professional-sounding enough) elevator speech over and over has never really fit my introverted style. And, while in my experience nonprofit-y, philanthropy-y, civic-minded, socially responsible folks really do tend to have their passions for what they do shine through any situation, I still feel myself often falling into the trap of the smile-shake-hands-nod-a-lot-and-move-on waltz.
Instead of this typical dog and pony show, we were asked to bring in something that represented our leadership journey. We circled up and shared our stories. Desralynn shared her red lipstick—a reminder to herself to always be bold. Andy shared a socket wrench, through which he shared the metaphor that for him, leadership means always having the “right tool” the job. In an unforgettable moment, Eleonore “bared it all” and shared her tattoo of a bicycle, commemorating the first day she learned to ride a bike (just 3 years ago!), and her subsequent drive to keep pushing forward.
When it came turn to share my item, I shared my green, blue, and purple hair—a symbol for my desire to bring my authentic self to my leadership journey. Hearing people’s stories was inspiring, humbling, and eye-opening; truly a testament to the fact that there is no one way of approaching leadership.
The second day was spent with higher level visioning both of the program itself and, in my view, some great forward thinking about the future of the nonprofit and philanthropic sectors. We spent some time in small groups, first envisioning the future of our sectors (but backwards!) and then with our mentoring circles who will be our go-to groups for more intimate connections and support.
We spent our afternoon in open space discussions tackling some of our big questions and concepts including: Power Dynamics, Who Am I as a Leader?, Bringing Your Self to Work, Building Culturally-Competent Teams, and How to Turn Ideas Into Action. The thought that these big ideas were the things we’d be wrestling with during our 10 months together was both daunting and exhilarating.
As we wrapped up the day, I was spent. As an introvert, two days of deep thinking, broad visioning and relationship had me feeling like I needed some kitty snuggles and a long nap. We ended the experience as we began: in a circle.
I think that working in the sector that I work in, with competing priorities and aims and goals coupled with an innate drive to do good in my little corner of the universe, it’s easy to get caught up in the impossibility of it all. There are always emails to be answered. There is always one more meeting to plan. There are people out there whose voices aren’t heard. There are systems in place that seem impossible to repair or rebuild.
Sometimes even the trip to the microwave to heat up my questionable Lean Cuisine seems like too much.
Looking around the circle, I became overcome with this sense of pride and excitement. More than that though, in that moment, it felt accomplishable: this group of young, motivated, smart, savvy, and impassioned individuals can actually do this. We are leaders that will repair those entrenched systems and amplify the good work in communities. And, maybe that email inbox will get below 1,000.
“Go ahead.”
All right guys, I will.
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